Back from my mission

Whoa, I haven't posted in a couple of weeks. At least it wasn't some lame ass reason like you read on most blogs with sporadic updates. I've been on a secret mission for the government (wouldn't you like to know which government? - I'll give you a hint, it's not one of the governments that YOU have ever heard of).

I can't say much about it, except that you are all alive right now because of the actions of one person, and that person is me.

Line of succession to the British Throne - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Line of succession to the British Throne - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

This could make a thrilling spy novel, how some people, for whatever reason, attempt to simultaneously kill the first 59 people in line for the throne in an attempt to create a union of norway and england, for some reason.

Okay, this is the funniest joke ever!

Saw this on a forum I post on.

http://www.newsdiscussion.com/index.cgi?okay=get_topic&topic_id=2399732

Injured Possum

So, someone calls up the animal control to inform them of an injured possum.

OK, let's get the preliminaries out of the way, I like possums, I like the way their babies ride on them, I think they're cute and would love to see one hanging upside from its tail in tree. I'm sorry that they get hit by cars a lot, since they are slow and dimwitted about traffic.

But what is the animal control guy going to do about it? He's not going to take it to a 24 hour clinic. He's probably not going to give it a shot of something to put it down (though I might be wrong). I just have this picture in my head of him driving out there at 4 am in the morning and putting it out of its misery by shooting it with a hand gun, or hitting it on the head with a big cartoon mallet, and then getting back in his car, going home, and going to sleep.

Vestal Virgins and Roman Criminals

But the honour and privilege surrounding the vestal virgins was enormous. In fact any criminal who was condemned to death and saw a vestal virgin was
automatically pardoned.

Yeah, right, like that's really going to happen very often.

Hide and Seek with Jesus

I think a good movie would be about Jesus, and his life from the resurrection to the ascension. So this would be the traditional "40 day" period that often occurs in the bible, or about 1 day according to the gospel of luke.

Anyway, since Jesus only revealed himself to his followers after his resurrection (BULLSHIT DETECTOR ALERT), it would be cool to see him constantly ducking into closets, and under tables, donning disguises, etc in an effort to avoid detection by non-believers. Maybe a disciple would question him on why it was so important to not be seen, and Jesus could lecture him about how that would be too easy for people to believe in His divine nature, if they actually witnessed Him returned from the dead. It would be far better if they believed in him without any evidence of his return.

Anyway, i still think it would have been cooler if Jesus had dissolved into a pinpoint of brilliant light and then flashed out of our dimension, instead of floating up to heaven.

The Frito Bandito

When yawning, I sometime say "aye yie yie", and that in turn makes me think of the Frito Bandito and his song.

The Frito Bandito was dumped in 1971 as a ?mascot? for Frito's corn chips. He was deemed as offensive to the Mexican community. I am as politically correct as anyone, but I never found him offensive. Of course, I was maybe 7 years old when he was dumped, so maybe I don't remember him correctly. I just found him as a suave and refined counterpart to his obvious american counterpart Yosemite Sam (Both were voiced by Mel Blanc, btw). Sure he stole fritos, but as predilictions go, it could have been a lot worse. And who can blame him, fritos were delicious then, before genetically modified corn, and artificial corn flavoring ruined everything. And he was probably hungry, since in the parts of the world that are not the United States, people are poor and starving, and were even more starving then, before genetically modified corn that could feed 10x as many people per acre had been developed.

Teacup German Shepherds

Teacup German Shepherds would just be so amazingly cute. I imagine the breeding process might be a bit complicated, but if Sam has taught us anything, we would not give in to despair, and we would realize that it IS possible.